**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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