im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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