So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize