okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
