He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
