just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
