I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
