Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize