Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
