Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
