You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
