I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
