So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
