Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
