Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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