it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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