We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
