when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
