i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
