so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
