No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
