It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
