i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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