Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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