You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
