Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
