I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize