im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Randomize
