Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
