Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
