The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
