everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
