He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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