i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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