I want to walk on stilts...naked
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
you made out with another girl for some wings
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
