You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
