Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
