i think my tv is drunk
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Blood and glitter go together right?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
