Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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