I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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