New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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