DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i just sent this text using only my big toe
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I believe in your delicious
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
