ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
