lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
