Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I looked at my own cervix.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
