we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
im holly from the hills drunk
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
