can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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