I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize