actually, I'm a sock model
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
