You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize