The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
