I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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