I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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