YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
