So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
