we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
