I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
