you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
