hotel room ftw
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
