Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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